On The Barenaked Ladies Spending Habits

 

Lyrical Time Wastr – If I had $1000000 (Photo credit: jah~)

A look at the song If I Had a Million Dollars by the Barenaked Ladies, in terms of just what it would actually cost them for all of these things.

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I’d buy you a house

I would buy you a house

 

According to one article about a typical millionaire the average price of their home is about $320,000. By typical millionaire the article excludes celebrities, people that win the lottery, etc, and instead looks at self made millionaires. (http://www.cbn.com/finance/MMWmillionaire.aspx)

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

I’d buy you furniture for your house

Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman

Some resources say a good estimate of the cost to completely furnish a home is 25% of the home’s value. This would be $80,000. That’s definitely a high estimate, but with a million dollars you would spend extra to really make the place look nice. Also, this would obviously be included (http://www.grandinroad.com/chesterfield-tufted-ottoman/453033?redirect=y)

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I’d buy you a K-Car

A nice reliant automobile

And if I had a million dollars,

I’d buy your love

Chrysler made a limousine style K-car, which is their most expensive model for $22,000.

If I had a million dollars

I’d build a tree-fort in our yard

If I had a million dollars you could help

It wouldn’t be that hard

$200

If I had a million dollars

Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge

In there somewhere

We could just go up there and hang out

$200

Like open the fridge and stuff

And there’d all be foods laid out for us

Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

$10

They have pre-wrapped sausages

But they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon

Well, can you blame them?

Yeah

Pre Wrapped Bacon is $0, because it sadly does not exist.

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I’d buy you a fur a coat

But not a real fur coat, that’s cruel

$300

http://www.faux.uk.com/view/Faux-Fur-Coats/FF052/CAVALESE-LONG-HOODED-CHINCHILLA-COAT/

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I’d buy you an exotic pet

Yep, like a llama or an emu

Llama: $55,000

This site lists out the breakdown of cost for the animal itself, food, shelter, and other purchases for startup. Their analysis is throwing down $40,000 just for two breeding llama. For a single llama and startup it would be more like $15,000, but we’ll use the $55,000 as our figure and consider the millionaire as having a serious interest in becoming a llama farmer. http://www.chesapeakealpacas.com/pages/alpaca_startup_costs.html

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I’d buy you John Merrick’s remains

All them crazy elephant bones

And if I had a million dollars

I’d buy your love

We’re just going to skip this one. For reasons.

If I had a million dollars

We wouldn’t have to walk to the store

If I had a million dollars

We’d take a Limousine ’cause it costs more

We already purchased a limousine so this is taken care of.

If I had a million dollars

We wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner

But we would eat Kraft dinner

Of course we would, we’d just eat more

And buy really expensive ketchups with it

That’s right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups

It’s $2.25 for one Kraft dinner. We’re going to go with three, because they would eat more.

$6.75

Fancy ketchup: $15

http://compare.ebay.com/like/271226097354?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I’d buy you a green dress

But not a real green dress, that’s cruel

$200

And if I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars

Well, I’d buy you some art

A Picasso or a Garfunkel

Art Garfunkel is not for sale. Picasso’s works sell anywhere between 150,000 for a drawing to 5 million euros for the most expensive painting. 150,000 euros is about $200,000 when converted.

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I’d buy you a monkey

Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?

If I had a million dollars I’d buy your love

A baby capuchin monkey would cost about $7,000. Adding in the expensives for food, medicine, and a habitat would be about $9,000. http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/recycled/2009/02/how_much_for_that_monkey.html

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

I’d be rich

The grand total is…..$ 686,931.75. With this we have purchased a house, all of the furniture for it, a limo, a tree fort, a fridge, sausages, a fake fur coat, a llama, a fancy kraft dinner, a green dress, a Picasso, and a baby capuchin monkey. We have $313,068.25 left to spend (although, some of this would be needed to buy John Merrick’s remains, the one thing not taken into account).

Except we forgot love! How much does it cost to buy love? Some estimates run a yearly cost of about $2,000 for dating. The cost for the average wedding is $25,000.

Taking this last bit into account…

Total Expenses: $713,931.75

Money Left Over: $286,068.25

Ta Da.

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